Author Dr. James. A McBean. D.Th., MCC

Copyright © 2008 Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559

Publisher: Revival Tract Ministries, Inc

I asked my self several time, how does a woman like that get a trash man like that? She could get any man she want, why she choose him? I did not get the answer until I hear my manager who is a woman talking to another woman about her husband. She chooses him because he stupid and are not smart enough to know what she is up to. Women became very uneasy in the present of a smart man. Women do not like when husband know what they are up to. A lot of man has been flip flam from day one.

In the American Association Of Christian Counselors. page 152, Bico 301. It is stated that "50-66% of marriages end in separation or divorce. The problem is bigger inside the church than outside the church" If there is a broken down of verbal communication between a husband and his wife, the marriage is on its way to the divorce court. Any thing can cause a brake down, in communications. Idle workplace, lunchroom gossips. Ill- feelings in the woman. Discontentment of some kind in both wife and husband. Wife overworks. Wives having to work two jobs, and still do laundry, shopping, house works, and cooking, while the husband go play gulf, can cause a woman to fall into silent, and became withdrawn. To prevent your marriage from ending in the ditch, remember this.

BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER.

The man must prepare to carry the greater part of the bills, like, the mortgage / rent /, electricity, water and food. He must make the check from his person account and pay these main bills. If the woman is caught in an affair, she will immediately say that she does it because of needs. The husband needs to cut off this avenue of excuses. There is only one excuses she have left” You give me every thing except you” You never take me out, you never spent time with me” At the same time the sweet heart never take her out either. He takes her to a motel then drops her off where she parks her car. One woman complain to me that her husband spent all his time with the computer. If he is spending time at the computer that mean he is home, and not in some motel someplace. All she has to do is finding out what he is doing at the computer and join him.

THE WOMAN MUST ALSO MAKE PREPARATION.

Women get in trouble because their friend and family take advantage of their feelings. One of my lady friend got all of her marriage and relationship busted up by her mother, and she do not even suspect it.

Her mother keep telling her” This is a good man, but he is not the right man for you” At the same time she will not give her the so call right man. The woman must stop going by feelings and go by logics. A man do not just get up and walk away from a woman that he pursued for three years. He had to work hard to get that first kiss, men do not forget something like that so easily. Take life enrichment courses, read up on men. If you married out of your culture, do a study on your husband’s culture. If you do not understand where people are coming from you will reach no where with them.

WINNING YOUR FIRST BATTLE.

Amos 3:3 (KJV Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

The couple first battle, will spring from power struggle, who is the head of the relationship? When the Bible says that the man is the head of the wife, it is talking about emergency power. The bible teaches that the man is the head of the wife, while it say the woman must guide the house. Before you both move in together you need to sit down and decide who is going to have emergency power in the new relationship. Even among a pact of wolves one of them has to be in charge. If you two cannot decide on who is in charge, do not bother moving in together.

Ephes. 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Ephes. 5:23 (Living) For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the Church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!)

1 Tim. 5:14 (KJV) I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

WINNING THE SECOND BATTLE.

Your second battle is going to be about money, talk about it before you moving in together. Fix the bad debts before letting a lover moving in with you. If you live together, you became apart of that bad debts.

If you are not a man of means, find a woman who is a woman of means. You must also remember that he who has the purse rules the home. She is the one paying the bills she must have the emergency power, or headship in the family. No one ever rule with empty pocket.

WINNING THE THIRD BATTLE.

The third battle is going to be about sexual preferences. You must know if you are a straight sex person, oral, or anal. Know how far you are willing to go, and talk about it with your intended mate, before marriage, or before moving in together. Some people like to suck you in first then try to trained you their way. Know what you are getting into, so as to prevent the relationship from falling into discontent. Discontent is the gate way to all trouble.

WHEN DOES A WOMAN HAVE AN AFFAIR?

A man will have an affair for no reason but ego. A woman will only have an affair because of a reason. When she has financial needs. Sexual need and when she is mad with her husband.

The problem is this; a man cannot prevent his wife from being mad at him. The woman friend will sense the happiness and fulfill ness in her, and find a way to poison her mind. If the woman is mad at you all the time start making plans of your own to run.

READING THE DANGER SIGNS.

Women are so overconfidence that they left a trail of evidence long from here to Germany. Any time husband's men friends suddenly became his wife friends overnight, it worth looking into. Any time these friends begin to turn up at the home when the man is not home. Wives who specialize in over night live in jobs. She can take a night off to be with her sweet heart without her husbands ever suspect it. You can also check your phone activity, to see what times most of the calls are made, both incoming and out going. This will keep them off the house phone. As a man you do not want any of the wife activities taken place in your house. Sometime ruff sex turn deadly, and the husband are the ones to pay for that killing, at the same time he is innocent.

If all conversation only last one or two minutes before crashing into silent. Leaving the house without saying where she been. Her bank account and pass books never seen. None of her pay stubs are ever to be seen. All her work nights always fall on the night when the husband is home. She always sick when he is home, especially when time is drawing near for bed time. All these are bad signs. When she has no sex drive, but she eat well. Infections, painful sex and soured vaginas, blistering between legs, all these are bad signs.

DO NOT ENCOURAGE THE WOMAN TO WOMEN COUNCILORS

It is best to use Counselor of the upper-sex. Because women tend to side with women and men tend to side with men, When your marriage is about to hit the rock, there is no time for stupid and one-sided counselors.

Sirach 42:13. For just as moths come from garments, so harm to women comes from women “The New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition.”

Women does not make good women counselors, for women. They tend to take side, and sometime side taking is not going to help your marriage. You need somebody who will help you find a way to make it work. One woman post a massage on the web site. Her Jamaican husband of ten years marriage, want too much sex. The truth is if he still want her after ten years of marriage, then he really think well of her.

WIFE TOO JOCULAR.

Both husband and wife should avoid situations that can cause the other to doubt the other faithfulness. One doubt can hang up a marriage for ages.

Wives in general should not give their house phone numbers to other female, when these female friends call the home they sometimes tell things to the husband. Both husbands and wife should avoid situations that will cause the other to be suspicious Things that can damage the marriage for ages. If you have to give a woman friend your number, it is best to give her your cell phone. I am talking about the woman women friends.

The wife must be careful to avoid conditions that will make her husband fall into jealousy. Unknown to many people, there is a demons, that harass married men, this demons is call” The spirit of jealousy” This is an evil foul sprit. It is a lying demons, it cause ill feeling in the man, blaming, spiting, bitter spiritedness, and sometime even the woman to loose her life while being completely innocent.

Numbers 5:14 (ASV) and the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled:

Numbers 5:30 (ASV) or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon a man, and he is jealous of his wife; then shall he set the woman before Jehovah, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law.

BEATING THE SPIRIT OF JEALOUSY AT HIS OWN GAME.

Remember to give explanations to your mate is he or she required it to remove doubt from their mind. Trust is something earns, and any thing can destroy this trust.

This demons clime on to the husband when the wife is simple, and just too jocular. You cannot be a married woman and be talking up to every man when your friends and husband is around. If your husband’s men friend came to visit, and you the wife see that the man is spending too much time with her, and is trying to win her spirit, she need to dismiss him and tell him to go hang with her husband, because he is his friend and not her. Some men befriend a man to get to his wife. You have to behave in such a way that the spirit of jealousy do not climb unto your husband. Next thing you know he installing micro camera all over the home and have private investigators fallowing you around trying to catch you in an act that does not exist.

GIVING THE MAN WHAT THE DOCTOR SAY HE MUST GET.

There is no way a woman is going to keep a man home if she has a sex problem. Women outnumbered men in some places seven to one. Also, some of our men are homosexuals and do not care for women. So when a woman get a man who wanting to go to bed, she has hit the jackpot, and should stop playing hard to get. If she has no sexual desires she should see a sex therapist.

1 Cor. 7:1-5 (Living) Now about those questions you asked in your last letter: my answer is that if you do not marry, it is good. [2] But usually it is best to be married, each man having his own wife, and each woman having her own husband, because otherwise you might fall back into sin. [3] The man should give his wife all that is her right as a married woman, and the wife should do the same for her husband: [4] for a girl who marries no longer has full right to her own body, for her husband then has his rights to it, too; and in the same way the husband no longer has full right to his own body, for it belongs also to his wife. [5] So do not refuse these rights to each other. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from the rights of marriage for a limited time, so that they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterwards, they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control.

1 Cor. 7:1-5 (KJV) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

1 Tim. 5:14 (KJV) I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

DO NOT BE TOO CONFIDENCE AND SECURE.

Husbands know their wife is having an affair. The wife friend most of the time told on them. The wife sweet heart taunted the husband, drive pass and laugh out, throw insults and describe wife parts, so husband know.

Husbands bring their girl friends to motels, while wives bring their boy friends to the home. What she does not know is that the home is rigged with micro cameras and listen devices. The man do and say nothing the first time because he is studying the pattern. He wants to know what time, and what day is this man most likely to return.

He can kill them both in the act are just compel the woman to give him a divorce. A friend of mine gets nine years in prison. The woman’s husband caught them in the act and gives the woman an ultimatum. Either she says it is rape, or gets divorce and gets nothing. She says it was rape, a and the husband hold the gun on him and call the police.

MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE.

There are some things women should not do, when dealing with their mate. Never admit you husband friend or you male friend into you home when your husband is absent, only if the husband leave him there.

If every time a man came to see the woman’s husband, he always came when the woman's husband is not home, he is not coming to see the husband but the wife.

People looking and start to spread rumors, and the husband became a laughing stock. If he really came to see your husbands, tell him the time when your husband will be home. Do not cook for him nor invite him in.

The scriptures advise you to stay away from all appearances of evil.

1 Thes. 5:22 (KJV) Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Never let your husband find out on his own, that a man came to the house, tell him before he find out.

It is not good to let your ladies friend came straight from the street and use your toilet. Sometime they flush condom, which floated up back hours later, most husband will not say a thing, they only start to make plans.

DO NOT GO TO NURSE PARTY NOR WORKERS PARTY THAT YOUR HUSBAND CANNOT COME.

When a woman came home and told her husband that she is going to coworkers party, do you really think the husband believe? Why is he not invited? When a woman gone to sleep over job, they do not think that the husband came to check it out.

BEWARE OF HAVING AFFAIR WITH NINETEEN YEARS OLD BOYS.

One woman told me"It is not good to play with boys" The boy came her job one day and behave in a way that everyone know he had her. The will walk pass the husband home and make the same sound

Nineteen years old boys always fall in love with the first vagina they tasted. They cannot play the affair games. They tell their friends, they act in a way that the woman husbands knew something is going on between the boy and his wife. Also a woman’s husband friends are not good to have relationship with. Because you put him in the place to hurt the husband.

If you are going to start an affair, you have to make sure that the person knows what kind of relationship you are offering. You also need to know that you cannot make any kind of contract with fools. Because they hear what they want to hear. You cannot have an affair with people who have nothing to loose. An affair is a discrete kind of relationship; Numskulls cannot keep that kind of relationship. One lady husband could not perform in bed so she played a boy to hang around her business place, and make believe that he worked there. His main job is to be there to take care of her sexual needs. One-day the woman’s husband came to the place and the boy attacked the man, and that is how the man finds out about the affair.

BEWARE OF HUSBANDS WHO PLAY POSSUM.

Men, who act like they do not know what going on, are sometime faking it. Acting like you do not know and do not see, will cause the woman to get confidence and secure, and fall back into carelessness, where she get caught in her own traps. Men knows where wife went when they say they are going to members meeting, nurse party and workers party. Why is your husbands not invited? Women do not know that men check out these climes and sometime pay somebody to go see. Do not go to any party that you wife or husband were not invited and cannot go.

HUSBANDS NEED TO BEWARE OF WIVES WHO SPECIALIZE IN LIVE IN JOB AND SLEEP OVER JOBS.

When people migrated to the USA, and have no skills, and no status, they sometime have to take what jobs comes along, but after their legal status has comes through, they need to stop doing that kind of live in sleep over job and go learn good skills, where their lives do not come under doubt. Especially if you say you are a born again child of God.

You And Your Mate Alone Must Be In This Relationship.

Eccles. 4:9-12 (KJV) Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. [10] For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? [12] And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Sirach 6:7. When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him. Sirach

6:8 For one sort of friend is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress.

The New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition.”

Never speak about your spouse to your friends, and if they start a conversation along that line, get up and leave. They are trying to worm their way under your skins.

Eccles. 4:9-12 (KJV) Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. [10] For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? [12] And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

AVOIDING SITUATION THAT CAN CAUSES YOUR PRAYERS TO BE BARED FROM ENTERING TO GOD.

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE.

If somebody verbally told you that they do not like something and wishes you to stop, and you keep doing it that are call provocation, harassment and temptation to commit crime. You might say that you are concern about the person, but the person say they do not want to hear it.

Galatians 5:26 (KJV) Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

Hebrews 3:13 (KJV) But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.